Dear Cameron

Dear Cameron,

Looking at this picture brings tears to my have changed SO MUCH in the last 12 weeks.

You were only 6 short days old here and had only been home for 2. You were literally dragged into this big, open, bright world from your dark, warm, cozy home of 9 months.

I remember this day very clearly. I had gone to the hospital the night before to have a blood patch done and was ordered to lay flat for 24 hours! I stayed downstairs in our bed until around noon then ventured upstairs to have some lunch and switch to LouLou's bed. (It's much more comfy and bright in there.)

Daddy was Superman that day, (well, he always is, but was much more so that first week you were alive) and spent the night with you while I was at the hospital, fed you, dressed you, made sure you napped, changed you, took you for your first walk, went grocery shopping, made lunch and dinner - all with a smile on his face because his first son had been born. YOU changed our lives for the better, Cameron!

Anyways, I remember sitting there watching the Red Sox (and hoping they could turn the season around - they never did...) when Daddy plopped you next to me on the Boppy.

You were like a stranger to me. A stranger who needed me. Who depended on me. You were so sweet...just looking around. Trying to get adjusted to this new place. 

I remember not feeling like your mother yet. Not feeling like I mattered to you other than when you needed to be changed or fed. When you cried, I couldn't make you stop. Aren't mothers supposed to know how to comfort their babies? I didn't...

But not anymore. I need you. And besides the fact that you need me, you want me. And it's the best feeling in the world. (And, I usually know how to comfort you now!)

I love you, Cameron Steven Scott. Please stop growing. I wish you were still that fragile 6lb 11oz baby we brought home from the hospital. 

Love Always,

1 comment:

  1. I remember feeling the same way - like I had brought this tiny dependent creature home from the hospital and was immediately supposed to feel like a mother but I didn't. He felt like a baby bird to me for the first couple weeks. I can't remember when that changed, but oh my goodness... what a difference just a few weeks can make! Very sweet post!